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Leading Others

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Problem Solving

Let's shake on our Agreement!

"Make up your mind not to put any stumbling block
or obstacle in your brother's way" (Romans 14:13-21).

Finding Solutions:

Disagreements and problems will always happen, but it is unhealthy to allow them to fester and become a sore.  The apostle Paul had a disagreement with the leaders at Jerusalem, but it was solved in a good way.  Here's a five stage process for handling and solving conflict, problesms and quarrels:

1.  Pray:

Pray about the problem and ask God to help you see the reasons behind it, the feelings and needs of those involved, and how they may have added to the problem.  Pray and ask God to give you wisdom to find the right words to reply and to cool the argument.

2.  Explore:

Explore each other's position and listen carefully and respect the other person's views on the subject of the argument.  Show respect and don't blame, accuse, or insult a person.  Don't try to find out who's right or wrong.

Try to understand what ia important in the situation and then ask, "Why am I sticking to my argument?  Is it true, or is there something behind it?"

Bear in mind that the fight, quarrel, argument or disagreement may be about personalities and their needs, rather than the problem area.  Often we feel unfairly treated if our point of view is questioned.  This makes us resentful and want to get back at the other person.

The answer is to look for what the problem is really about and what has to be resolved.

3.  Approach:

Approach and work out possible solutions together, finding out and sharing what you have in common.  Find out what is the real problem, what it is really about and what has to be resolved.  Look for areas of where you can agree.

When two people are very angry with each other they often think there's nothing that they can agree about.  So keep cool and find something that you can agree on.  When you have done this you'll find lots of other things to agree on as well.

4.  Agree:

Work together to find a solution since the problem involves both parties.  If both people can make suggestions on ways to improve things, they have the best chance of reaching an agreement.

Let them ask, "What alternative solutions are there and which of them could I live with?"  Make sure that all parties desire to see God glorified and be concerned for each other's happiness.

5.  Expel:

Coming together and praying is a powerful way of seeking agreement.   You will all get rid of any bad feelings and anger you still hold.   Matthew 25:4 tells us to go to our brother or sister and make peace with them!  So drive out and get rid of any anger or bad feelings you may still be holding onto.

Matthew 25:4 tells us to go to our brother or sister and make peace with them Ask, "How have I added to this situation or made it worse?  Is there anything I need to ask the Lord to help me change or correct"  Psalm 85:8 says:

"I will listen to what God, the Lord will say,
He promises peace to His people, His saints."

God bless!

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